Dealing with a broken relationship can be one of the most difficult things one may ever have to deal with, and it is something no one wishes for. Fortunately or unfortunately, having to deal with a broken relationship; be it pre-marital or marital has become a reality as far as our love life is concerned. This article is limited to handling broken relationships in pre-marital relationships.
While some may consider a break-up in a pre-marital relationship as positive for them as a result of some happenings in the relationship which they consider as unhealthy, others consider it as a total emotional shutdown with the reason being that they had committed their entire life to keep the relationship. The unfortunate aspect of this is that, in the attempt to deal with broken relationships, many have either found themselves in worse situations or have found themselves doing the unthinkable.
There is no doubt that broken relationships can significantly leave one hurt, and such hurts can result in complications such as emotional scars which when not well attended to can live with a victim for life. However there are proven steps when considered in their therapeutic sense can help deal with some of such implications associated with broken relationships where one considers himself/herself dumped, cheated, or abused. This is to say that, though broken relationships can have a significant impact on an individual, healing is also possible. This article suggests some meaningful steps for a healing process:
1. Be real about the pain
It is important to note that, the ability to recognize or feel pain is one of the characteristics that render us, humans. Being real about the pains or the hurt you may be going through is never a sign of weakness as some may see it to be, but rather a means of expressing the fact that your emotional make-up has been tampered with. This is to say that, should the pain warrant the need to cry, go ahead and allow the tears to flow. This you may do in your closet; or any safe environment. Allowing tears to flow in such instances is one of the body’s ways of getting rid of the pain and hurt.
Some people in the face of some societal views (such as men don’t cry) run away from their hurts when in the contrary they should be embracing them. Some in running away from such hurts; unfortunately run into drinking and engaging in other vices that end up complicating issues. The truth is that it is only when we feel our pain that we are able to honestly deal with it and move on. However, in your grieving, try as much as possible to devote less and less time each day to grieving. You’ll eventually find yourself thinking about the breakup less often, and with time; you may get over it.
2. The God factor – the Healer of broken-heartedness
After you have been real to yourself, the next important step is to go before God with your broken-heartedness. Jesus in His own commissioning statement quoted the prophetic word of Isaiah in Luke 4:18 (KJV), “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, …He hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted…” In moments of difficulties, it is important to know that there is someone who knows all about us and still loves us no matter the situation we find ourselves in. Being conscious about this truth is a critical step for your healing process; this is because, when we have that foundation of knowing that God loves us no matter the circumstances, we can have the strength to face rejections from others. This is what the Bible says in Jeremiah 31:3; “The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” You may be rejected in a given relationship, but God never rejects His own. Knowing this is great comfort in the midst of crisis. It is however important to note that, if in the relationship, you went beyond the boundaries by engaging in sexually related activities, you will have to repent and ask God for forgiveness, with the understanding and conviction that being physically intimate in a pre-marital relationship is a sin. Purity in a pre-marital relationship is very key for the believer (1Corinthians 6:18-20). And remember to seek His will and guidance in any future step.
3. Don’t overrun yourself physically – Take good care of yourself
In making sure that the incidence of a broken relationship does not take the best out of you, another important area to look at is the need to consciously take good care of yourself; and not allowing the incidence to take the best out of you. This may include routine exercises and eating well. You may also want to look at your fashion selection as a means to maintain your confidence. Many in such situations care very little about their looks or their public image; and when such continues or a long time can have a negative physical impact on their bodies or public images. For them; anything goes; they say to themselves, what is it to lose again – is it worth it all – what did I really gain? Remember, it is never over; God still has a beautiful plan for you.
Apostle Benedict Eghan is a Minister of the Gospel with The Church of Pentecost and is currently the Resident Minister of Pentecost International Worship Centre (PIWC), Tesano. He also doubles as the Personal Assistant to the Chairman of The Church of Pentecost, Apostle Eric Kwabena Nyamekye. Read More…
1 Comment
Powerful one keep it up